Dissociation is a psychological phenomenon in which there's a disconnect between your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, perceptions, memories, and identity. Occasional dissociation is usually not a problem, but if it happens frequently or is intense, it can be a signal of BPD. About 75% to 80% of people with BPD report stress-related dissociation.

What is dissociation?

Dissociation is a psychological phenomenon characterised by a disconnection between thoughts, identity, consciousness, and memory. It serves as a coping mechanism, allowing individuals to distance themselves from experiences that are too overwhelming or traumatic. While occasional dissociation can be a normal response to stress, frequent or severe episodes may indicate underlying mental health conditions. There are two main forms:

Depersonalisation: This involves feeling detached from oneself, as if observing one’s thoughts, feelings, or body from an external perspective. Individuals may describe it as feeling like an outside observer of their own life.

Derealisation: This refers to experiencing the external world as unreal or distorted. People might perceive their surroundings as foggy, dreamlike, or visually altered.

Symptoms of Dissociation

Most people have experienced mild forms of dissociation from time to time.

Mild symptoms

Daydreaming
Getting so caught up in a book or movie that you miss what's going on around you
Zoning out (e.g. driving and realise that you missed your exit, but you don't remember driving the last few miles)

Many but not all with BPD tend to have more severe episodes. This may include:

Depersonalisation: This is when someone feels disconnected from themselves—as if they’re watching their life from the outside, or like they’re in a dream.

Derealisation: The world around them might feel strange, foggy, or unreal. Even familiar faces or places can seem unfamiliar.

Amnesia: Some people experience memory gaps, often referred to as “losing time.” They may be physically awake and functioning but unable to recall what they did or where they were during a specific period.

Identity Confusion: There might be an ongoing struggle with questions like, “Who am I, really?” People may feel uncertain about their place in relationships or how they fit into the world around them.

Identity Alteration: This refers to acting in ways that feel completely out of character, or not recognising things they’ve done or said. Others might comment that they seemed like a different person.

Why does it happen?

Dissociation often develops as a way to manage emotional pain—especially in people who’ve experienced trauma or chronic invalidation. For individuals with BPD, intense emotions, unstable relationships, and fear of abandonment can all act as triggers. Dissociation becomes a psychological escape hatch, allowing the mind to shut off when things feel too overwhelming.