Finding Support
Getting a diagnosis
If you’re struggling to understand what you’re going through, it’s important to find out more about your condition and reach out for help.
The rapid and extreme changes in mood, as well as the negative feelings BPD creates in yourself and towards others, can make it difficult to maintain stable personal relationships and it can feel exhausting.
If you find that your relationships are experiencing significant ups and downs, and you’re having difficulties with anger or self-harm, or you are engaging with other kinds of self-destructive and impulsive behaviours. It’s crucial that you reach out for professional help, and open up to a loved one, as soon as possible. Nobody will judge you and you'll benefit from having support, as you prepare to start taking care of your mental health. It’s important to understand that none of this is your fault and many people will struggle to handle this serious but treatable condition alone.
The only surefire way to know that you have BPD is to get a formal diagnosis from a qualified psychiatrist. Don’t try to diagnose yourself. Many mental health disorders have overlapping symptoms, and relentlessly reading around is going to be unnecessarily anxiety-inducing.
For many BPD sufferers, being diagnosed is a lightbulb moment where things finally “click” into place. It’s the first step on the path to recovery.
Unfortunately, there are lots of assumptions and misunderstandings around BPD. Not every doctor or health professional understands it.
What should I do now?
If you think that you or a loved one may have BPD and are looking for further information on receiving an BPD diagnosis, we have outlined the steps involved in the process so that you can start your journey.
A useful first step is to visit your GP. Bringing up your BPD concerns to your doctor may be frightening at first, but it's the first step towards receiving the support you need. During an appointment, they may ask you about your symptoms to determine whether or not you could be experiencing BPD so write down your experiences to help you remember. Your GP may then refer you for an in-depth BPD assessment and expert treatment. However, a referral is not essential. Unfortunately, there are lots of assumptions and misunderstandings around BPD. Not every doctor or health professional understands it.
BPD can only be diagnosed by a qualified psychiatrist.
Recommended practices
Below is a list of some UK practices specialising in the condition
BPD can only be diagnosed by a qualified psychiatrist.
Living with BPD
BPD is a very serious disorder. The intense experiences associated with BPD are not something that anyone should face alone. Once you’ve got help and a formal diagnosis, there are few things you can do to make sure you have the right support in place to help you improve your day-to-day life.
Learn More
When it comes to your mental health, knowledge is power. Educate yourself about the symptoms, causes, and treatments of BPD. Learn about ways to manage your symptoms. Share what you have learned with the people in your life who are affected by it.
Have a safety plan
BPD causes very painful emotions and, as a result, it is not uncommon for mental health emergencies to arise. A safety plan can reduce your risk and make it less likely that you will make a decision in the heat of the moment that will have serious consequences. Your therapist will be able to help you with this. In the meantime Samaritans offers a safety plan template
Build a support system
If you’re suffering from BPD, you might already have a strained relationship with your family. Maybe that’s a result of the dysfunctional relationships you had around you growing up, past trauma or the symptoms of BPD which may have got in the way of you being able to form healthy, stable relationships with family members. Building a support system in really important, whether that involves family or not. Volunteer, join clubs or social groups – whatever needed – in order to build a social support network you can turn to when life gets difficult.
Commit to practising self-care everyday
One of the standout symptoms of BPD is self-sabotage which makes committing to self-care paramount. Create and maintain a realistic and healthy daily routine: eat healthily, keep sleeping patterns consistent, exercise at least 3 times a week etc.
Drown out your inner critic
If you suffered abuse, neglect or abandonment as a child, these experiences internalise and you’re going to have a harsh inner critic. Your inner critic is one of the main driving forces behind maladaptive behaviours (self-harm, depressive episodes, feelings of emptiness etc.) so you want to be working hard to recognise it and call it out. Practice self-compassion as much as possible. Be kind to yourself and try celebrating all your victories, no matter how small. That nasty voice inside that mutters criticisms to you isn’t yours – it’s voices and opinions from the past. Take back your internal landscape and start rooting for yourself.
Don’t feel ashamed about taking medication if it helps
If your psychiatrist suggests it, never feel ashamed about deciding to go on medication. Some people find medication a huge help in managing their symptoms. It’s different for everyone, and it’s about finding what works for you.
Try some Yoga!
Yoga therapy can be a supportive and effective complementary approach for individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). While it’s not a standalone treatment, it can enhance traditional therapies like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) by addressing emotional regulation, body awareness, and stress management.
How yoga therapy supports BPD:
Emotional regulation: Breathwork and mindfulness practices help reduce impulsivity and stabilize mood swings.
Grounding and body awareness: Gentle movement and somatic practices increase connection to the body, which can ease dissociation and anxiety.
Self-compassion and acceptance: Regular practice can foster a kinder relationship with the self, countering shame and self-criticism common in BPD.
Improved distress tolerance: Techniques like mindful breathing and meditative movement help manage intense emotional states without acting on them.
Daily practice works well alongside DBT or psychotherapy to enhance emotional support.
Below are some yoga techniques and styles that are commonly used or adapted in yoga therapy for people with BPD, focusing on emotional regulation, grounding, and self-awareness:
Breathwork (Pranayama)- Helps regulate the nervous system and manage intense emotional states.
Mindfulness and Meditation - Key for increasing awareness of thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations without judgment.
Gentle, Trauma-Informed Asana (Yoga Postures) - Helps release tension, build self-awareness, and restore a sense of safety in the body.
Grounding Practices - Useful when experiencing emotional flooding, panic, or dissociation.
It might be beneficial to get a tailored by a certified yoga therapist who understands mental health and trauma sensitivity. Many yoga therapists integrate guided journaling or reflection after sessions to deepen emotional insight and support therapy goals.
Further reading - Kripalu Yoga
Recognise the impact of BPD on your life
Part of living with borderline personality disorder is recognizing some of the ways that symptoms of the condition can impact your life. It can take a toll on your relationships and work, but symptoms can also physical health and safety. Being aware of these effects can help you better recognize the importance of treatment, support, and self-care.
Your Relationships
BPD can have a major impact on your relationships. In fact, having difficulties in relationships is one of the primary symptoms of BPD. People with BPD can have many arguments and conflicts with loved ones or a lot of relationships that repeatedly break up.
Your Work
Since BPD has such an impact on relationships, people with BPD may find themselves in trouble with co-workers, bosses, teachers, or other authority figures. The intense emotional changes may also impact work or school. Further, people with BPD often suffer from perfectionism and are highly sensitive to criticism. These can occur daily in a work context and can which can elicit very destructive behaviours either to yourself or others in the work space
Learn Your BPD Triggers
It can also be easier to live with borderline personality disorder if you learn to recognize and manage your triggers. BPD triggers are situations that set off symptoms. Common triggers for people with BPD include:
Feelings of rejection or abandonment in relationships
Memories of past traumas
Being criticized
The loss of a job or relationship
Relationship conflicts
Intrusive thoughts
Isolation or boredom
While you cannot control every single situation that might trigger your BPD symptoms, you can work on developing coping skills that will help you manage them more effectively.
Treatment for BPD
It is important to remember that while the symptoms of borderline personality disorder can have serious effects on your life, the condition is highly treatable. Seeking help, adhering to your treatment plan, and getting support are the most important thing.
Where else can I get support?
If you're struggling to access the support you need, it might be worth looking into charities or other third sector organisations. For example:
Mind's helplines provide information and support by phone and email.
Your local Mind may be able to help or suggest other local third sector services for more information.
You could consider trying peer support. This could be through an online community, like Mind's Side by Side.
These kinds of services are normally free or low cost, and can offer a range of support.
More information
As with most mental health conditions there is no such thing as a typical case. BPD can manifest in a very differently in those who are suffering with it and there is a lot of information online that can be confusing. If you believe you might be suffering with BPD its best to seek advice from a healthcare professional.
However, education is important. Find out as much as you can about BPD: the symptoms, effective treatments, and ways to keep yourself well. Learning about BPD empowers you to manage your symptoms, making them more predictable and less scary.
There is a lot of inaccurate and misleading information on the internet about BPD, so be sure to access reliable sources. We list some below:
How can I help myself now?
Things can sometimes feel unpredictable and out-of-control for people with BPD. The first thing to do is learn as much as possible about BPD. This can help people understand the condition, and find the right treatment and support. What's true for people with BPD is true for all of us: make sure you eat healthily, get regular sleep, exercise and fresh air every day, don't drink alcohol excessively, and do things that make you feel calm — listen to music, do yoga, mindfulness exercises, or anything else that helps. It's the calming effect that matters, not the method, so choose whatever works for you. People with BPD find these things can be helpful:
Establishing good routines
Tracking moods and emotions to understand their patterns
Looking after physical health through healthy eating, exercise and sleeping well
Learning about emotion regulation and distress-tolerance skills
Talk to someone
It can be hard to reach out when you're not feeling well, but it might help to share difficult thoughts. If you don't feel you can talk to the people around you, you could try contacting a helpline.
For example, you can talk to Samaritans for free on 116 123 or jo@samaritans.org about anything that's upsetting you. See Mind’s page on helplines and listening services for more information about different helplines.